My Pet Alfred
by Sir Soraxel
Summary: Alfred cannot help but think that there is something quite wrong when he wakes up, his back aching, his head pounding, and his memory shot. It's even stranger that he finds himself wearing a collar...
1. Puppy

Alfred opened his eyes groggily and found himself staring at the grey ceiling, perfectly painted over showing no signs of any flaw throughout it. He lifted himself up off the floor. God, his back hurt. He had probably rolled off the bed during the night and landed there. His head hurt too... Nothing an Advil couldn't solve.

He walked out the door feeling about as dead as a zombie. He just needed to find the medicine cabinet. Then he'd go back to bed.

Huh, the hallway seemed longer than he remembered it being. It sure was taking a long time to get to the bathroom.

"Ugh, this is some hangover. What the hell happened last night?"

Eyes shut from his exhaustion, Alfred tried walking to the left where his bathroom should be.

Only to find his head hurting.

He put his hand on his forehead, but it only hurt more. He tried to open his eyes and when they finally opened, he found himself facing a wall. It was grey. Not the same grey as the ceiling, but slightly darker.

Wait.

The bathroom should definitely be there.

But it wasn't. He'd hit the wall instead.

Alfred put his hand on the wall, feeling for any hidden latches, or switches, or maybe even a secret passageway, but he came up with nothing. It was just a smooth, plain, grey wall.

He looked behind him, at the right side of the hall. There was nothing there either. He walked backwards to his room, but somehow found himself in a different hallway. He tried retracing his steps, but was in yet another hallway. He turned around and saw three other halls. He banged his head on the wall.

It was too early in the morning to get lost in his own home.

It may have been the head banging, but Alfred suddenly realized something.

He didn't have a grey ceiling.

He didn't have grey walls. He didn't have twenty thousand hallways. He had been too tired to see the bed before, but by now he was certain it was definitely _not_ his.

Had he slept over at England's house? That didn't make sense. England would have made sure he slept in a bed, or at least on the couch. Also, there weren't so many halls.

Japan's house looked too Eastern. Canada's house looked nothing like this. He couldn't think of anything else.

Before panic decided to take over, he decided to explore. Maybe someone had done interior designing in his home while he'd been sleeping. Pretty crappy job, if you ask him, but it was still a possibility in his mind.

Choosing to follow one hallway, he walked forward.

It was still too early for this. Everything looked the same to him.

Alfred finally decided to stop. It seemed like he had been walking for hours, even though it had only been fifteen minutes. He heard a door open.

His eyes lit up. The savior he'd waited for had come. He ran as fast as he could towards the location of the sound. He felt like he could navigate every hall. Every corner. Every turn.

Somehow it was starting to seem somewhat familiar to him. Like he'd been here before and was just realizing it now.

All of a sudden, it hit him as he rounded the last corner. He slowed as he neared the opening to what looked like a lobby.

The extremely large door closed. The man closing it brushed some snow off of his ashen hair and tan coat.

"Ah, Alfred, how good of you to come greet me after my day of work!"

He started slowly stepping towards Alfred.

And Alfred just stood there. Confused.

He was in Russia's house.

"You know, I am quite surprised that you were able to find me through all of these passages. Even I find it difficult to navigate them."

Ivan raised a hand over his head, and Alfred squeezed his eyes shut out of fear of being hit.

Instead he found a large hand petting his head.

"But I suppose that most puppies are able to find their masters that way, da?"

Alfred blinked, and a slight blush graced his face. Huh?

"Dude, what the hell, Russia? Are you callin' me a dog?"

Ivan frowned. "Aw, poor puppy, he has not learned manners yet."

"I am not a fucking dog, Russia."

He put his hand under his chin as if he were thinking. "Hm, and it seems he has not learned to watch his language either." He ruffled Alfred's hair, and began to walk off before stopping at the sound of Alfred's voice.

"Yeah, Russia? Where do you keep the Advil," he said angrily.

Ivan chuckled a bit. "Down that hall," he said pointing to the right of Alfred. Then, he disappeared down another hall that Alfred hadn't even noticed before.

He sighed. "Psycho." He walked to the right and found it to be a straight hallway with no turns. One door stood at the end. He went in, closed the door, and immediately opened the cabinet. "Yes!" He pulled out a container of painkillers and popped two into his mouth.

What the hell had been up with Russia? All right, so maybe they'd been out drinking, he'd gotten drunk, and having no place to put him, Russia took him back to his place. Sounded reasonable so far. But what about all the dog stuff? He thought for a minute. Russia was always crazy and said weird things. Maybe this was just one of them. It kind of made sense.

Feeling relieved, he replaced the container and closed the cabinet.

He froze.

Yes, his reflection stared back at him, but he didn't like his reflection. Nah, he wasn't ugly. Actually, he thought of himself as downright charming. It was what his reflection was _wearing_. Normal shirt. Normal pants. And a collar. A _dog_ collar.

"Dude, did Russia put this shit on me?"

He tried to undo the straps, but they wouldn't budge. He opened every drawer and looked for scissors or something sharp, but could find none.

Why a fucking dog collar?

Okay, he had to calm down. Maybe someone else had put it on him when he was drunk, and now Russia was just making fun of him.

Again, that made sense. Russia wouldn't have taken off the collar, so he could find something to torment him about in the morning.

He furiously stomped out of the room, down the hall, and into the lobby. He spotted the enormous doors and quickly tried to push them open.

They wouldn't budge.

"Russia!"

Light footsteps could be heard.

"Yes? What is it?"

Alfred glared at Ivan. "Open the door. I want to leave."

Ivan smiled. "I'm afraid I cannot."

"Thanks, buddy- Wait, what?"

"I'm afraid I cannot."

Alfred blinked. "What the hell do you mean you can't?"

Ivan closed most of the distance between them. "Untrained puppies cannot be left near open doors. They might run away."

Alfred laughed emptily. "Hahaha, that's super funny, Russia. You're hilarious. Now, open the door."

A look of confusion entered Russia's face. "I do not understand… What joke did I tell?"

"Seriously, Russia. Cut the crap. Stop treating me like a dog, and open the door."

"You really are very cute." He ruffled Alfred's hair again and then reached into his pocket for a ring of keys.

Alfred crossed his arms in annoyance.

It seemed like forever until Ivan brought the keys out and placed them in the lock. It was like he was _trying_ to draw this out.

A click.

Jumping up in excitement, Alfred pushed open both doors and was instantly hit with a wave of cold air. Snow started blowing into his face. A white wasteland was all he could see. He squinted, but nothing changed. It was like the world had gone cold.

He collapsed to his knees, his eyes wide. It couldn't be. "Russia, drive me home."

"Mm, I think not."

He couldn't believe it. He could not believe it. Russia had kidnapped him.

He was stuck here. At Russia's house.

"Now, come along, little one before you freeze." Ivan took Alfred's hand and lifted him up to stand. He started leading him down another hall until they reached a kitchen. He sat Alfred down on a chair.

Alfred sat back in the chair and stared into space. Russia started to cook something, but he didn't notice. A mantra just kept repeating itself in his mind. Over and over. And over.

He was stuck here. At Russia's house. He was stuck here. At Russia's house.

He was stuck here. At Russia's house.

As a dog.

**Ah, yes, he's still human, but I am a strange person who finds situations where one guy's like, "Hey, you're my pet now, kthxbai," kinky… I read this one from Bleach with Aizen and Ichigo that I very much liked once… Please do not enter my mind. It is an X-rated place.**

**I kind of wrote this when I was supposed to be working on my World History AP project… And today was my second day of my sophomore year. It is quite interesting. So far it seems nice, and my classes are going well so far. I am trying to stay very well ahead this year since my goal is to go to Yale, so I may not update every week.**

**Ah, yes! I almost forgot! Hello! My name is Annabelle Smith! That is not actually my real name, but I'm trying to keep this profile anonymous. I actually have a main account on here, but I'm really embarrassed about posting something like this to it… I have weird kinks… Again, please do not enter my mind. **

**Um, if I may, my embarrassment was just proven when my mother read this over my shoulder... /blushes profusely. She thought there was something quite wrong with me before, but now she's asking if I have done drugs... Obviously, I am quite annoyed with her invasion of my privacy.**

**I ask that if you figure out who I am, please do not tell anyone else… /blushes I'm actually very shy, so I'd be very embarrassed if everyone found out who I am… Feel free to pm and ask me if you think you know who I am, but please, do not say it publicly ;u;**

**I may or may not edit this chapter later, since I am not happy with it…**


	2. Shock

Ivan sighed as he looked at Alfred's sorry state. He had been prepared for this. Of course, Alfred would be shocked. In fact, he had been _expecting_ it. He would have been worried had Alfred not reacted the way he had.

He finished stirring the contents of the pot on the stove, turned it off, and walked over to the American.

He carefully lifted him off the chair and placed him onto a large tan cushion on the floor. The puppy began to fall over, and Russia reached his hand out to stop him. He found himself amused. Even in a state of shock, Alfred could overdo his performance.

Alfred could feel himself being lowered from something stiff and sturdy to something soft and fluffy. His brain, not currently seeming to function properly, could not identify the objects. Having no mental strength or will to keep himself up, he began to fall over, but was stopped by a large hand that kept him straight. There seemed to be a voice speaking, but Alfred could not distinguish the words, as if he was underwater and the waves of his thoughts were obscuring all, including the delicious smell of food. Alfred did not react at all, except that he ceased his descent to the ground. All he did was stare blankly ahead.

Fortunately, Ivan had planned ahead for this and believed he had the perfect remedy for Alfred's state of astonishment.

"Little Alfred, would you like some food?"

Alfred still did not react with his body, but his eyes gained a pleading look to them, as if desperately asking for something.

_How cute! I imagine these are, as people say, 'puppy dog eyes.'_

He figured Alfred was hungry since the small one had not eaten in over forty-eight hours. He had planned it like that. He wanted his new puppy tranquil when he entered his home, not one of those rambunctious puppies that ripped everything apart when they first entered. Gilbert had been one of those riotous puppies.

He poured some soup into a bowl and crouched down in front of Alfred. "It smells delightful, does it not?" He maneuvered his hand holding the bowl so that it allowed the full scent to waft past Alfred's nose.

Alfred nodded subconsciously.

"Would you like some?"

Alfred's lips parted slightly.

Smiling, Ivan spooned out some soup, blew on it, and brought it close to Alfred's mouth.

Greedily, the boy quickly swallowed the liquid, and almost instantly, his eyes brightened with a newfound sense of the world around him.

"Man, did I drive my car into a wall again?"

As the American looked around the kitchen, realization dawned on his face, and he put his palm over it.

"Dammit, I'm still in your house."

Ivan nodded. "Yes, it would seem so."

"Can I leave?"

"Not at all."

Alfred crossed his arms in thought, until finally looking up again. "All right, so get this. I leave right now, and I don't tell the real Russia's boss that he's invading my dreams as an act of war."

Ivan chuckled. "How silly of you!" He flicked Alfred's nose playfully. "This is not a dream!" He was still giggling as a look of disgust entered the younger's face.

"Dude, so, like, this is the real you?"

"I could not imagine it being anyone else."

"So…" Alfred looked down in thought again. "The _actual_ _**Russia**_ planned on kidnapping me, the fucking amazing United States of Awesome, and…" He pulled at the collar that was still on his neck. "…And turning me into a dog."

"That is quite an oversimplification, but yes."

Alfred raised an eyebrow. "Really? An oversimplification? Please, enlighten me as to how I could have made it any more convoluted, you psychotic son of a bitch."

"Let's see… Well, first of all, I did not 'kidnap' you, as you say. I simply picked you up off of the cruel streets."

"Ah, I see. Oh wait, no, I don't. _That's fucking kidnapping!_" Alfred immediately squeezed his eyes shut as he felt something spray his face. He frantically tried to rub his eyes with his sleeve. "Dude, what the hell was that?"

He found his face splashed again.

Spluttering, Alfred forced an eye open. Through the damp hair hanging over his eye, he could see Russia holding a spray bottle. "Why the hell are you spraying me, Russia?"

Ivan replaced the bottle a few feet away from him. "Pets do not bark _at_ their masters; they bark _for _their masters."

"Dude, once again, I. Am not. A fucking. Dog."

Sighing, Ivan shook his head disappointedly. "Really, Alfred, but I suppose we will work on language after respect."

"Respect? Why should I respect some asshole that kidnaps me off the streets, treats me like a pet, and is making me eat on the floor?" Staring at the food only made Alfred's mind cloud up and pound with pain. He angrily took the bowl from Russia and drank the contents immediately.

Ivan smirked. "Hungry, are you?"

Alfred blinked and then looked at his hands, which were still holding the bowl. He mentally cursed his own involuntary ravenous hunger. Ivan, on the other hand, was smiling as if he had just made some kind of victory. It made Alfred sick.

"Dude, I want to go home."

"You cannot."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Really really?"

"Really really."

"You sure?"

"I am sure."

Alfred paused.

"So you're saying that you won't not ever not let me not go?"

"No."

Alfred snapped his fingers in annoyance. "God dammit, I was sure I got you with that one."

"It never would have worked, but let me just say that using double negations is not utilizing correct grammar," Ivan said, still smiling.

"Yeah, um, fuck this, I'm leaving." Alfred put the bowl down and started to get up.

"Alfred, I really do not advise it." Ivan got up as well, a slightly worried look entering his face.

"Dude, seriously, leave me the fuck alone! You're so fucking creepy! Why'd you even kidnap me in the first place? Do these kind of sick thoughts run through your mind, like kids who keep thinking about ice cream when they're hot?" Alfred glared at Ivan. "I knew you were fucked up before, but I never imagined this." He proceeded to stomp down the hallway, back to the main lobby-looking room.

Ivan followed Alfred at a brisk, yet even, pace, just enough to keep up with Alfred, but not pass him. "Alfred, please calm down."

Stopping, Alfred turned back and gave one final glare. "I am _done_ calming down."

With that, he pushed the gigantic doors open, slightly surprised that Ivan had left them unlocked, and began to walk confidently out into the wilderness. He knew it was cold, but he knew he could do it. He couldn't die, and if he got frostbite, it would hurt like hell, but it would go away eventually. All he needed to do was put his foot out the door-

That was as far as he got. Suddenly, an excruciatingly painful electric shock coursed its way throughout Alfred's body. He crumpled to the ground in a heap, his limbs numb. From his spot on the floor, he could see Ivan strolling over, towering over him.

Ivan clicked his tongue, discontent evident on his face. "I did warn you." He crouched down and began to caress Alfred's hair. "However, I do think this is partially my fault being that I had forgotten that puppies always run towards open doors."

Alfred wanted to respond, to retort, to at least punch the guy in the face… But he couldn't move. He couldn't speak. He couldn't do anything. All he could do was listen.

"But do not worry. I will make sure it does not happen again."

And what Russia was saying was making him want to flinch, but he was stuck in the same position. On the floor. Helpless.

"You are probably wondering what just happened." He waited a few seconds, as if Alfred would respond. Of course, he knew just as well as him that he was not capable of speaking at the moment. "You see, your collar is somewhat of a 'shock collar.' If you try to walk outside of my home, you will be shocked as just shown. The same can also go for if you do not follow rules. You are lucky, though, that you look too endearing when you are surprised with water."

_Wonderful._

"Now come, you should not lay here where it is cold. You might become sick and possibly die." Ivan picked Alfred up into his arms in a bridal style and began pacing towards an adjacent hallway.

_Sounds better than sticking around here. _

They ended up inside a room that looked like a living room or den of some sort. Ivan took Alfred to an armchair by a fireplace, the fire burning brightly, and sat down, placing Alfred on his lap and petting his head once again.

Alfred could have gagged. Ivan was really pushing the pet concept.

"You know, like this, you are more of a cat than a puppy. Either way, it is quite charming," Ivan stated thoughtfully.

_Oh yeah, this'll be great to put in my resume._

It was quiet for a while, almost peaceful. "But I suppose today has been stressful for you, to say the least. I once read that pets sometimes need time to adjust to their new environment."

_Most pets weren't kidnapped._

"Now, I sincerely wish I could spend more time with you, however, I really must be getting back to my work for the night. I have already been with you for half the day." Ivan stood up, carefully handling Alfred, so he could sit in the chair. Alfred tried to at least glower at Russia, but all that resulted was his head tilting.

Ivan giggled at the sight. "I will see you tomorrow, my love." He turned around and exited the room.

Alfred inwardly shuddered. What the hell did Russia just say? That right there was pretty darn creepy. He would find some way to escape in the morning. He would find some way to cut off the collar. He would find some way to contact England, or what's-his-face, or France, or even Germany. Someone that would actually come to save him and get him back home.

He would find some way to beat Russia to a bloody freaking pulp. He would find some way to get back at the psycho. Maybe take his scarf and use it to clean all his shoes. England never did like it when he came to meetings, his shoes dirty and scuffed from his "jogs in the mountains."

Yeah, that's right. He would come in to the meeting, his shoes shining with the intensity of all the lights in Vegas. He would wear sunglasses, and how cool and totally badass would that be? And then, England would be like, "_Oh Alfred, I was wrong! You are definitely one of the cleanest people I know._" And France would be all like, "_Alfred! You are quite the fashionable one!" _And Canada would say, "_You're the best brother in the entire world, Alfred! I wish I was as cool as you!_"

A memory flashed through his mind...

_Entirely ignoring the potential consequences of his latest exploit, Alfred waltzed confidently into the meeting room, despite his singed hair and dilapidated clothes. He felt there could be no better day than today, quickly forgetting the frustrated atmosphere emanating from the person walking beside him._

_England, on the other hand, tapped his fingers in aggravation as he watched Alfred's jovial gait, completely irritated after having witnessed first-hand that trying to modify one's toaster with a spoon is not a pleasant way to start off one's morning._

_Already having arrived at the meeting, France continued to stare at his mirror, obviously more concerned with flipping his hair dramatically than paying attention to the others' problems. _

_Content with not commenting, Japan continued reading his book._

_Germany and Italy were having a conversation, Italy flailing his arms about and Germany trying not to tape Italy's hands to his sides._

_At the corner of the table, China was drinking tea, his face serene._

_And Russia. He was sitting at the far end of the table, looking lonely. Alfred waved happily at the man and smiled._

Thinking of the times when things were simple, when everyone just walked into the meeting and laughed, when everyone was so carefree, when life was _just_ about the meetings, made tears well up in Alfred's eyes. He blinked them away, but a few made their way down Alfred's cheeks. Unable to wipe them , the tears stayed there, causing his skin to become slightly itchy.

_God, I feel like I'm sitting in some sappy scene from a sitcom._

But he knew it was not like that. He was a captive, and he needed to escape at all costs. He needed to think of a plan. …But that _could_ wait until morning. Incredibly tired, Alfred did the only thing he could do at a time like this.

He went to sleep.

**Ah! Hello again! I am sincerely overjoyed to anyone who is still reading this. I have not updated my main account… There have been many… family problems that have put me out of the comedic writing mood. However, this is the only other writing reprieve, besides my novel, that is keeping me sane during school. That, and the fact that Adventure Time and Regular show are most likely two of my new favorite obsessions.**

**I tried to make this chapter a bit longer than the last. It was okay, right? If there was anything you did not like, please tell me. It may seem awkward for one to leave a review with criticism, but I honestly do not mind, and it helps me to improve, which, in the end, makes this more enjoyable for one to read. **

**I actually used the flashback section of this for my English homework two nights ago. We had to write 'absolutes.' So I used those sentences for the assignments. Needless to say, my teach thought it was quite strange that I used countries' names.**

**I'm not quite sure of ideas to use for this… I had a few, but not enough for an entire story. If I don't find any, I'm going to end up "bullshitting" this, as my friend Marisa says. So if any of you think of something good, please feel free to ask me to add it. Also, I've decided to take requests since I have next to nothing else to post on this account… You can ask about that, too. (It can be about anything.)**

**I am also trying to find more time to write this. And my Drawing and Painting teacher already loves me as a student. I think that's good! ^^ The rest of my class, except for a few, is just there for, as they think, easy A's.**


	3. Annoyed

Waking up, Alfred blinked at the grey ceiling, painted over, showing no signs of any flaw throughout- Wait; he had already gone through something like this. But he was too tired to remember where.

_Déjà vu?_

His neck itchy, he reached his hand up to scratch it, only to come in contact with something rough. He tried to scratch it a bit more, but couldn't seem to get rid of the itch. It only made him scratch at it more. And more. And more. Until his hand was a blur of rapid movement.

"Oh, I do hope my poor puppy does not have flees."

Alfred froze, his eyes wide. The sugary sweet, yet bitter voiced laced with false concern pierced his ears like a harpoon and reminded him of his dreaded reality.

He was now supposedly a dog. Owned by Russia. Seemingly for no reason except for Russia's whim.

"Rutha, Iike, dude, thtop with all thith. Juth let me go, and I promith I won't kill you ath badly ath I wath going to originally." Obviously, America had not completely recovered from the shock of last night. He kind of hoped Ivan wouldn't notice the lisp that had formed due to the effects of his temporary paralysis.

However, it was to no avail seeing as how the lisp was ever so noticeable. Noticeable enough to make Russia giggle so much that he had to balance himself by keeping one hand on the wall.

"What'th wro-… What are you laughing about, Ruth- Iva- ... YOU?"

Apparently, America's trouble with picking out the right words was even more amusing to Russia, who walked over, traces of laughter still present. "What _ith_ wrong is that you are so utterly adorable!" He wiped a tear from his eye.

Alfred's face turned bright red, and he turned away, quickly glancing out the window, noticing the sun was just beginning to rise. "Dude, what do you want from me thith early in the morning?" He crossed his arms and tapped his fingers to distract Ivan from his face.

He pretended not to notice. "Well, dear, I was actually coming here to tell you that I have to leave for a few hours."

"Whatever." _More time to find an escape._

Ivan chuckled. "Even if I was not going to take precautions, it would still be impossible to escape."

_So now he can read minds?_

"Not exactly. Though it would be useful, you keep stating these things out loud."

... Damn it.

Patting the other's head, Russia smiled. "I hope you do not miss me too much."

Alfred swatted his hand away. "Ath if."

"Good-bye, little one!" Russia, acting as if nothing had happened, strolled casually out of the room, closing the door behind him. _Most likely locked it too_, America thought.

The minute he heard the footsteps disappear, he jumped up, but was immediately pulled back down by a force on his neck. Dazed, he grasped for the collar, noticing something attached to it. It seemed to be thin, yet long and malleable, like string. And it seemed to be attached to the bedpost.

He realized what it was: a leash.

First, a collar. Now, a leash.

He could have punched something.

"Damn it!" he yelled, attempting to tug at the material. How the hell had Russia gotten it on him in the first place?

"Damn commies and their damn commie tricks that damn logic and the laws of physics to Hell," he muttered, finally realising the leash would not give way, no matter how much force he applied. Desisting from trying to break the thing any longer, he decided to survey the current situation.

The room was pretty large. Everything was bare, and the door was just a normal wooden door. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Oh wait.

He just realised something else.

He wasn't on a bed; he was on the floor. On the bulky tan cushion that had been in the kitchen the previous day.

What the hell was going on?

Averting his attention to the wall behind him, he noticed a hook protruding from it. So… did Russia just keep all this around, or did he do this specially for him? _Oh yeah, lucky me_, Alfred thought, sarcastically.

* * *

_"Ath if."_

Ivan giggled, thinking of Alfred's words that morning.

His new puppy could be so cute! Every insult, every glare… every blush. It all made Alfred look delightfully sweet. Though, he longed for him to smile. To show him that charmingly radiant grin that he showed everyone else.

He felt he could get it faster if Alfred stayed with him.

"Russia!"

Blinking with surprise, Ivan glanced down the table towards the source of the voice. Green eyes, framed by outrageously large eyebrows, were glowering at him.

Darn England for bringing him back to the present.

He quite disliked these meetings. They were extremely boring, unless fights broke out. Those were very interesting to watch.

"Russia, now is there a reason as to why you find the issue of global warming so amusing?" He tapped his fingers, much the same way Alfred did. It annoyed him that England was most likely the person the boy had gotten it from.

"I was just thinking of how Amerika usually comes in with an extremely stupid" -endearing- "remark about superheroes, by now."

England blanched. "America… He hasn't come in today, has he?"

"Not at all."

Now, this might seem like an unwise move on Russia's part; however, in the end, it would help him greatly.

"Does anyone know where the git is?" Arthur put his papers down and scanned the room.

"I do find it odd that he has not contacted anyone for at least four days," Germany said. "But unfortunately, I do not know where he is."

Japan looked worriedly at Canada. "Ah, um, America-san's brother, do you know where he is?"

"N-Not really… He likes to go on weird 'adventures' sometimes… If he's on one of them, we might not hear from him for weeks, but that's about all I could tell you." Matthew shifted nervously.

"So America's missing, either way?" France asked.

"It seems to be the case," Russia replied.

Everyone started coming up with theories of what could have happened to the American, but it was China who looked at him, suspicion present in his eyes.

"Russia, why do you seem so happy today?"

The room grew quiet, but Russia smiled.

"Oh, it is nothing. I just got a new puppy, yesterday~!"

"A… puppy," England repeated.

"Yes! He is quite adorable!" He giggled. "I will bring him in one day, if you like?"

England rolled his eyes. "Sure, do whatever you wish.

Germany picked up a folder. "Perhaps we should get back to the meeting and worry later?"

Hesitating for a moment, England finally nodded. "Yes, I suppose." Maybe Canada was right. Maybe America was just off somewhere. Wherever he was, he felt that the American handle it with that thick head of his.

Ivan smiled.

**

* * *

**

"Damn it! I can't handle this!" Alfred yelled, trying to rip the hook out of the wall.

What did Russia do? Pound it into the wall, seal it with a welding torch, and finish it off with massive amounts of super glue?

Out of anger, he punched the wall with a great amount of intensity. However, the moment his fist impacted on the wall, he retracted it and rubbed it quickly. He blew on it and attempted to shake it out. "Ow! Owowowow! It hurts!" He stuck his fingers in his mouth to swallow the blood that had accumulated on his palm. "I hate thish. It hurtsh so damn much."

Suddenly, he got an idea. He took his bloody hand and dragged it across the wall. With the satisfaction a small child gets when they write on the walls to get back at their parents, America snickered. Oh yeah. Russia would get back and be like, 'Oh, Alfred, you are just too weird, yet amazing! I am going to have to let you go before something bad happens to me!'

America's day dream bubble popped, and he returned to his task. Finally deeming it complete, he checked his hand. Obviously, he'd hit it harder than he thought, for it to be bleeding that much.

He heard a door open and slam shut.

Oh? Russia was home already? He quickly ambled to his cushion and sat down, looking pleased with himself.

His own door opened.

"Alfred, I am home~!"

"Yeah, welcome back," he answered quickly. "Listen, I really appreciate you tying me to a wall." His voice was laced heavily with sarcasm. "Real fun."

"I really did not wish to do so, but it was the only security I could come up with in one night." He glimpsed the wall behind Alfred, causing the other to smirk, slightly. "You do know that if you had wanted to redecorate, I would have gladly given you some crayons."

Damn it. Alfred really hated this. First a collar. Which turned out to be a shock collar. Then a pet cushion. Then a leash. And he won't get even a little annoyed with blood all over his walls? Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it.

. . .

Those crayons didn't sound half bad.

"Yeah, um, could I possibly get some band-aids?" America pointed to his hand.

"Alfred! Why did you not tell me you were hurt?" Russia rushed over to him, concern all over his face.

It made Alfred blush a little bit. "W-Well, I kinda guessed you would be able to tell from all the blood on the wall."

Ivan blinked. "Ah, I thought that some of the paint had just worn off…"

Alfred coughed loudly. What? WHAT? He gazed at Russia with fear. This man was clearly psychotic. Though, he had probably already know that from the minute he learned he had been kidnapped.

**

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**Ah, um, I couldn't think of where to end that off, so I decided that was as good as any ^^;**

**IT IS NOT MUCH OF A SECRET IF I ACCIDENTALLY FORGET TO LOG INTO THIS ACCOUNT TO ANSWER REVIEWS. OTL **

**I think my writing got better? XD Oh well… If you see anything you want me to change, just let me know ;u;**


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